Forgiving

When it comes to any relationship, forgiveness is the key. People do and say things in the heat of the moment that they don't always mean. If someone acts towards you in a certain way, it's not a justification for you to behave inappropriately in response. You're responsible for yourself and your own inappropriate behavior. —

• Failure to forgive. It's a burdensome, stressful thing that's just going to eat at you.
• Family, others. Maybe your parents are not the way you thought they should have been. Maybe you don't even remember how it really was. Maybe it wasn't anywhere near what you thought it was. Maybe you don't know what your parents were going through. You can't possibly judge them or anybody. You can only be accountable for yourself.
• Starts with forgiving yourself. People are too hard on themselves. It's very difficult to look back on your life and see things you're not really proud of, but you've got to forgive yourself. You have to tell yourself, I'm sorry I did that, but I have to move on.
• Share the responsibility of the pain. If you need to forgive somebody, you'll also need to ask them for forgiveness because you probably contributed to some of that pain. Not every story you tell is true. You leave out some details, you add more emphasis on something else, and you give it your own spin. The other person might see the same story a different way. It's never the whole story. Everybody likes to be the victim”don't let that be you.
• Unrealistic expectations of others. Is someone not doing what you think they should be doing? Do you have some standard that is so high that you think people are not meeting your expectations? Leave everybody alone. Just let them be who they are. Don't expect anything from anybody.

I believe that people have the right to be themselves, and people need to stop judging other people. I want my freedom, and they should be allowed to have theirs.

In any relationship, personal or business, it's your responsibility to take ownership. Say what you were wrong about and ask for forgiveness”be honest, but be kind. They might not forgive you, but what more can you do other than apologize and ask for their forgiveness?

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For me, if you've done something to hurt me, all you've got to do is validate me, acknowledge what was said, and then tell me you're sorry. Done! We all screw up and shouldn't be forever branded because of what we said or did. I want people to forgive me. And guess what? I need to forgive other people. If you don't forgive, then you're holding anger inside you. When you forgive, it lifts a weight and pressure from you.
Mike Holt

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