Get more time - Breaking the worry habit

 

By Belynda Holt Pinto (Mike’s Daughter #1 of 5 in age order)

 

How much time have you spent worrying about things; things that never happened, things that were bound to happen, or far-flung worries that statistically wouldn't happen to you or anyone that you know? Can you imagine if you were able to reclaim all of those hours that were spent just worrying? All of the hours you may not have slept, may not have been productive at the job at hand, may not have been engaged in the people around you because you were wasting it worrying? If worrying solved our problems or moved us forward in our lives, then I would say it was a productive use of your time but unfortunately, it doesn't. All that it really does is sap our energy, and rob us of the little bit of time we have to enjoy our lives and reach our goals.

So after years of wasting my life worrying about things that most times never came to pass, or when they did were never quite as bad as I had expected them to be I came across a great little timeless book by Dale Carnegie - How to Stop Worry and Start Living. What a great little tome! So here is what I learned in a nutshell:

1. Let go of the past - don't waste energy worrying about things you can't undo.
2. When worrying about a situation prepare for the worst possible outcome and make a game plan to make the worst case scenario better and then let it go.
3. If you don't know how to stop worrying you will die an early death.
4. When faced with a worry ask yourself what action can I take to improve this worry? Then make a plan to take that action along with a deadline, this will immediately make you feel empowered.
5. Find out the facts before you worry about something. Half the time we worry about something and we don't even have the facts, once we get the facts most of the time we realize what we were worrying about didn't even exist in the first place.
6. Once you make a decision of how you are going to act on a problem, take the action and dismiss all anxiety about the outcome. Focus on the action at hand.
7. Don't sweat the small stuff, or the petty little things that aren't worth our worry.
8. Busy people worry less than inactive people. When you worry get busy.
9. Ask yourself what are the statistical probabilities that this will actually happen. Examine the record to see if you are worrying about something that will never come to pass.
10. Accept the things that you cannot change - don't waste time worrying about them.
11. Put a stop loss order on your resentments. Don't waste your energy worrying about how someone bested you or pulled one over on you. Let it go, it isn't worth the energy you are wasting.
12. Don't cry over spilled milk focus your energies on your future. If you had a failure put it to rest and focus on what you will do with the possibilities of the time you have left in life.
13. When you act happy and have an optimistic outlook on life, you end up being happier. Make a commitment to acting cheerful.
14. Don't waste a single minute focused on people we don't like. And for goodness sakes don't waste any time trying to get even.
15. Give for the joy of giving when you give to others in life and never expect gratitude. Gratitude is a trait that people have to be taught and some people were never taught it so why waste your time worrying that someone was ungrateful.
16. Focus on your blessings not on your troubles.
17. Don't try to be someone else, strive to be the person that you were meant to be not a cheap imitation of someone else.
18. Make lemons out of lemonade.
19. Try to not focus on yourself, but throw yourself into helping others it will cure all of your worries.

 

After reading the book and applying some of the principles I realized that I may have wasted days, weeks even months worrying about things that had passed, that were never going to pass, and that I couldn't change - I am a reformed worrier. Hope some of the tips help you reclaim your life from worry.

 

Mike Holt Comment: My daughter Belynda is very involved in the field of stress management and how it relates to business and life strategy. She’s has a Blog about these topics at http://imctraining.blogspot.com/