Mistakes can make us feel like a failure, or appear foolish or incompetent. No one really intends to go out and make mistakes. If you don’t know that you have to do something, or if you haven’t been properly trained to do something, you might make a mistake by not doing it. Henry Ford said, “Failure provides the opportunity to begin again, more intelligently.” The way I see it, for myself, learning to navigate through life involves six distinct phases:
Oblivious. You were not aware. You didn’t realize your actions contributed to the poor results. You weren’t trained, you just didn’t know or understand. This is okay. You cannot put yourself down for doing something wrong if you didn’t understand or didn’t know any better. What you get from being oblivious is a lesson learned. Look at me. I got married at 17 years old because I had a baby on the way. Did I have a father? Did I have a mentor? Did I have anybody to lead and guide me? I always wanted to be married and have a kid—just maybe not that young. I was oblivious. But I’m not going to beat myself up—I just didn’t understand.
Learning. You are trying to improve, taking a calculated, educated risk that might not work out. This is okay! Learn and get better at it. If you’re never trained or didn’t have the experience or knowledge, you can’t get down on yourself. Is there a chance that if you try something while you’re learning, that it might not work out? Do you think some people would laugh at you? Don’t let that stop you from trying things. How else will you learn?
Mistake. Something that happens after you have been trained, and you are attempting to perfect the skill. This is good! You were trained, you learned the material, you’ve been practicing, and now it’s yours. Of course, you’re still going to make mistakes. If you make a mistake, it means you’re trying, you’re doing something, and you’re learning. If you make a mistake, someone is going to see it, and it’s likely that they’ll make fun of you. It could be embarrassing, but so what? If you don’t try and play it safe, you’ll always be just where you are now.
Problem. An unwelcome condition to be dealt with. Often caused because you were lazy, distracted, or kept making the same mistake. This is not good! You don’t have to do a lot of stuff right, but here’s what you can’t do: you can’t have a life of problems. It will destroy you, especially if you keep making the same mistake, and you’re not correcting yourself.
Stupid. Lacking intelligence or common sense. The action of doing something that you know will result in terrible consequences, like driving without a seat belt, riding a motorcycle without a helmet or protective clothing, or being unfaithful. This is not good. Don’t do things that you know are stupid. But don’t be afraid to try something new because you’re afraid that you might look stupid. If you try something new or different, will there be some people who will laugh at you? Of course. But for me, I’m going to always do something different. I’m going to find out. If you don’t try, and you play it safe because you don’t want to look stupid, you’ll never learn or get better.
Life. Everything that is not oblivious, learning, a mistake, a problem, or stupid, is just “Life!” Things happen. There is nothing that you could have done or can do to make it better. God is in control.
Mistakes that happen because of a lack of information or incorrect information, are part of the learning process. Mistakes that happen because someone doesn’t care are not that forgivable. They might be excused or tolerated once or twice, but there should be no place in your business or on your team for people who don’t care.
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