Pretty much everyone feels inadequate at times—afraid to be yourself in case somebody says something about you. Right now, you might be faking it, and you might know you’re faking it. But the beautiful thing is that everybody else is probably faking it, too! It takes time and experience to get over those feelings. But for that to happen, you have to start improving yourself, becoming better, and becoming competent so you can feel confident.

Learn to be comfortable with who you are. Worrying about what others think about you holds you back. A lot of people reject criticism because it puts them in a position where they have to become aware of their behavior and change. These things are not easy, but you have to make yourself accountable, acknowledge what you need to work on, and ask people for help if you need it. Don’t let pride get in the way of working on yourself and improving.

Inadequate feelings can affect you negatively in so many ways:

• Fear. Fear might drive you to be afraid to do something, or you might feel inadequate. The better you get, the less insecure you’ll feel, and the fear should lessen.
• No desire to grow. The more accomplished you feel, the more you’ll overcome the fear that’s holding you back.
• People putting you down. People will always want to control you—always. No matter who you are, they will always try to find something to say about you, whatever your race, gender, or ethnicity. Don’t let that hold you back. Just be honest, say what you feel, and learn to be confident about who you are. It doesn’t matter what anybody thinks, but you have to be competent. You’ve got to get better!
• Relationships. They can destroy your feelings. Breakups can result in people saying hurtful things, and that can really mess up your sense of adequacy. Terrible things might be said that you can’t absorb and own because they’re said in anger and hurt. You have to forgive people, and build yourself back up.
• You don’t value your accomplishments. Improve yourself. Read, research the web, watch videos, and work on ways to build your confidence.
  

We all feel less than adequate at certain times or situations, but the key is to not allow inadequate feelings stop us from doing things. We need to believe in ourselves and work toward achieving our goals.

I feel inadequate at times. I didn’t feel confident about what I did for 25 years. I taught, I wrote articles, and I made videos. I got all kinds of accolades telling me what a great guy I was. And I felt that one day, someday, somebody was going to figure out that I’m not as good as people say I am. And then one day, in the 25th year, I thought, “You know, Mike, you’re not faking it buddy, you know what you’re doing, and you know what you’re talking about.” And it was a wonderful feeling. So, for those of you who are struggling with this, let me tell you something. It took Mike Holt, who’s very, very good at what he does, 25 years to get there. So, if you feel that inadequate feeling, just realize it’s part of you getting enough history, and enough experience to get you to that place.
—Mike Holt