Entitlement

Feeling entitled affects everything in your life when you always think that you’re the victim. “How come I can’t get that?” or “That’s not fair!” As soon as you use those words—“That’s not fair!”—you’re acting entitled and expecting other people to behave in a certain way. That is a victim mentality. It demands special treatment, is selfish, and shows a lack of consideration or gratitude.

Nobody’s going to be the way you think they should be, nobody. And guess what? You’re not the way you want to be either. How about you worry about yourself, fix yourself, and not gossip about anybody else. When you get yourself better, how about then you just help somebody else, rather than expecting other people to behave in a way that meets your needs.

The feeling of entitlement might come from different causes, but it shows up in people in similar ways:

• Childhood—poor versus wealthy. Studies were done with children in which they were given the choice between one reward (marshmallow) they could have immediately, or doubling the reward if they waited for it. They found that poor children have a difficult time waiting to receive a benefit. They’ll choose immediate gratification because they don’t know if they’ll get another chance. In follow-up studies, they found that the kids who could wait for gratification experienced better outcomes in life.
  There have been many critics of the findings, including newer studies which suggest that the ability to hold out for a second marshmallow is shaped largely by the child’s social and economic background, and that’s what’s behind the child’s long-term success. What’s emerging is that affluence, not willpower, seems to be what’s behind some kids’ capacity to delay gratification. And affluence is also the reason for some kids’ feeling of entitlement. Affluent kids’ experience tells them that their parents will get them what they want, when they want it, and they don’t have to work too hard. They just expect it.
• Crave admiration and adoration. Entitled people need attention.
• Me! Me! Me! It’s always about them, and there’s no consideration for others.
• Unrealistic expectations of others. It doesn’t only affect you. Entitled people expect too much from the people around them. They expect people to be a certain way to fit within what they want and need.
  

Rather than placing blame on others for whatever happens to you, be aware of yourself and what triggers those feelings and behavior. You should then work toward taking responsibility for your own actions and their consequences.

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I think many kids today have a huge sense of entitlement that we didn’t have growing up. I didn’t have anything. My mother didn’t spend a penny on me—she didn’t have it. Today, kids don’t know what it’s like to really work hard and struggle because their parents don’t want them to have it as hard as they did. A lot of people say Millennials are entitled, and some Millennials even say that about themselves! There are some qualities of Millennials I really like. They have a sense of virtue, they would like to see a healthier planet, healthier food, and are less judgmental than the Baby Boomers or Generation X. They’re more accepting of different cultures and people, and at some level they might be balancing their life a little better than my generation in the respect of working hard and killing ourselves. Be careful if you are a Millennial that you don’t act entitled, and if you don’t feel that you are entitled, then don’t let people put you down.
—Mike Holt

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