Conduct

People notice how you conduct yourself. Are you acting in a way that is offending people? Even if it’s 1 percent of the people who get a pang in their stomach from your behavior, can you be better by working on it and not offending even that 1 percent? You’re working on being a leader. If you’re sarcastic, or curse, or are inappropriate, before you know it, it becomes a culture. This is not a judgment—don’t get down on yourself. How about you just get a little better tomorrow than you are today.

Even though stereotyping is considered wrong, there are some people that believe it is true. You will be “stereotyped” based on your conduct. What are you conveying by your behavior?

• Anger management. Be aware of your triggers. You might have a tendency to get frustrated, to react quickly, or to be volatile; you might be angry, tired, or not getting enough sleep. Work on minimizing those trigger situations.
  
• Compassion for others. Does your conduct reflect your compassion?
  
• Cursing in public. There’s never a reason to use offensive language, no matter whose presence you’re in.
  
• Inappropriate behavior. Be mindful of situations that affect your behavior in a bad way. I don’t drink, that’s just me, and I won’t create an environment in my home or business that enables the kind of conduct excessive drinking can cause.
  
• Inappropriate jokes. It’s never okay if there’s even one person who will be offended.
  
• Mirror behavior. People copy you, and before you know it, it becomes a culture.
  
• Respect others. Make people feel safe, valued, respected, and important.
  
• Smoking in public. There are studies negatively stereotyping smokers as having a higher incidence of social issues among many other things. Because of these perceptions, it does not come across as a positive thing, and doesn’t send a good message.
  
• Who you associate with reflects on you. Elevate yourself.
  

If you want others to see you in a positive light, surround yourself with people who are already viewed that way. Think about those people you choose to hang around with. Are they well spoken? Do they constantly use profanity when they speak? Are they responsible or unreliable? Does their conduct command respect? If the goal of your friends isn’t the same as yours, you’ll need to distance yourself from them a bit, and make sure you associate with people who have the same aspirations as you do. As you grow you might lose old friends, but you’ll make new ones. Stick to your commitments to yourself and to serve others, and you’ll be surprised to discover how many of your friends grow with you! Let your conduct instill confidence of others in you.

Act the part, dress the part—conduct yourself with businesslike attitudes, speech, and manners at all times. In life we can’t always control the events around us, but we can always control the way we react to them. Our conduct says a lot more to the world about us than our words. You should ask yourself what your conduct is saying about you every day.

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My stepfather was a drunk, an alcoholic, and beat my mother. We would go to family events and then my uncle and my stepfather would always have all kinds of fights, blood flowing, and the police being called. Some of you might know the world I’m talking about. So, when I see people drink, and they reach a certain level of alcohol consumption, they start acting in a different way, and it makes me very uncomfortable. I won’t do anything to enable this kind of behavior.
When I was younger, not thinking it was offensive, I would tell off-color jokes. Everybody seemed to laugh. But consider this, a lot of people laugh when you’re cursing or telling an inappropriate joke, not because they think it’s funny, but because it’s a nervous reaction.
—Mike Holt

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