Coach or Mentor

No matter what your goals are, or where you are on your journey, the only way to achieve success is to be curious, to challenge, and to learn. That sounds simple, but how do you learn? Who do you ask? There are books and articles on every topic possible, but how do you sort through them to find the right ones? How do you know you’re getting the right answers and guidance? You need experts to give you answers. The ideal solution is to have someone that you can ask, someone who you can call on for help on any specific thing. More than one person, you might need a network of people who are knowledgeable, and who are willing to be there for you.

Here’s what you should do: find every single person who you know who’s better than you at something and tell them that you know what they’re good at, and you’d like them to help you get better at it—and tell them to hold you accountable.

• Accountability Partner. Can’t get Mike Holt as a mentor, to yell at you? Then find somebody, find 10 people! Find different people to help you with different areas of your life: personal relationships, finance, or whatever else you need. Who’s going to hold you accountable?
• Find a Coach for different task-based things. Ask questions, do research, and find people who know, experts, to give you answers.
• Get a Mentor. Put yourself out there and ask for help. Let people know that you want to learn and to grow and would appreciate their guidance. If you can’t find someone to help you, or don’t have a mentor, get books.

When will you be ready to mentor? Initially people might make fun of you as you start to participate and to grow. When you start feeling valued, you’ll see how people begin to treat you differently and ask you questions and ask for your help. You’ll feel gratitude and confidence, and you’ll feel that you want to tell everybody about this, and share, and you’ll want to become a mentor yourself. But in order to mentor someone successfully, that person has to be willing to do the work. Here’s what you do. Tell them to buy the hardcover book The Slight Edge. Have them read one chapter, email you the summary of the chapter, and include the application of how that chapter can affect their life, and then you’ll have something to talk with them about. That process will help you weed out who’s really serious. You’ll see how much work they really want to do. You can only help them if they want it. If they show you that they’re committed, then you mentor them.

Maybe 10 or 15 percent of people are blessed to have a mentor. Maybe you are not one of those people, and it’s hard if you aren’t—but you always have books!

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A mentor is not someone you need every day, it’s someone you need for the rest of your life. If you’re committed enough to seek out and find a mentor, you have to stay the course. People might make fun of you along the way. I remember when I started mentoring my son Michael, people would say, “Your father’s always telling you what to do. Why don’t you do your own thing. Can’t you be your own man?” Michael had a goal, and a plan to get there. He has coaches who he calls on for the different aspects of his contracting business, and he is lucky enough to have a mentor who is more than qualified to help him on his journey. He didn’t let what people said deter him from going after his dreams.
—Mike Holt

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