Communication

Remember one thing when you’re talking with people—to be able to truly communicate, you need to know what the other person means, not just what they say. Did you catch that one? Think about it. It’s important in reverse too. You need to make people understand what you really mean.

This is big time! It seems to me like most people work off the subconscious level, so when there’s conversation going on between people, it’s just conversation, not anything new, and no consciousness associated with it—just chatter. Me, I’m aware; if you say something to me, I actually think it’s supposed to mean something.

People say things without being aware of what they’re saying. They ask questions and they’re not even paying attention to the answers—and people who are hearing the questions are not really hearing the questions; no one’s really paying attention. It might seem that everything is getting done, but the brain has filled in all the missing pieces, and it’s actually a broken communication!
In our office I’m working really, really hard to get people to listen and ask a specific question so they can get a specific answer. And in my case, I want the communication to be short, clear, specific and very laser-sharp. Don’t ask me questions, tell me what you’re going to do, and give me the information I need so I can say “Yes” or “No”—or the dreaded “Call Me.”

I’m really busy, so proper communication is important to me. I have a lot of things going on in my life, so when I ask someone for something or send an email for something to be done, I expect a response: “Got it, acknowledged and understood, and here’s when it will be done.” I shouldn’t need to follow up unless they need to be trained and they ask for help. I cannot run my business and wonder whether people are getting the job done.

• Beginning, Middle, End. This is really important to me. Tell me what we’re talking about, then give me relevant details, and at the end, summarize it. This is really important to me for email, phone calls, and text messages. If an email is 2, 3, or more sentences, you need to make sure that what you want to say is in the first sentence because I stop reading after that! If you’re asking a question, what’s the easiest way to make sure that the person gets you the answer that you want? Write the question so the answer can be “Yes” or “No.” Make it short, make it specific. If either party is confused, call and get clarification on the phone.
  
• Face-to-face, eye contact, smiling. Sometimes the best way to communicate is to be face-to-face, especially if there’s conflict.
  
• Miscommunication—your fault! If you’ve had a conversation or sent an email and there’s a misunderstanding, it’s probably your fault. Just assume that it is your fault, and work to make yourself clearer.
  
• Thinking out loud. This is not good. When you don’t have a clear idea or response, and you speak your thoughts out loud, it’s confusing for everybody. They don’t know if you’re suggesting something, expressing a random thought, or making a decision. Get clear first.

These are my policies, and they work for my business. Establish your communication protocol and make it as simple and clear as possible.

Don’t underestimate the importance of communication. It identifies problems or opportunities in your life and at work, and is one of the most important keys to your success.